fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
