drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I will pee on everything he values.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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