Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
