What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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