so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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