Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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