Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
