i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
