i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
home. puking in laundry basket.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
