we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
