Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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