SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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