I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
