Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
