So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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