Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
