i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
