We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
