This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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