do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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