who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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