Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
