I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
