they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
