Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
