Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
