I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
