Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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