I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
