the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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