Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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