Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
