He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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