I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Drake has all the answers
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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