when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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