No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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