Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
