But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
