I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
