Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
