Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We need to get me chipped asap
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
