Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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