covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Is it because I queefed?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
