So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
