Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
