no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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