I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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