The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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