i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
