margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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