Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Randomize
