the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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