They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
